Capitol Offense (41)


Oh-oh, I think she made us.
  -- Schanke

Nick!  Where the hell are you?
  -- Schanke

There she is, the darling of death row.  The Tex-axe terror.  With
lipstick in one hand, and axe in the other, she hacks her hubby into
tiny, teeny little pieces.  Move over Lorena Bobbit. Compared to this,
what Lorena did was a manicure.
Probably won't be long until they turn it into a movie.
Yeah, coming yesterday to a theater near you.
  -- Schanke and Nick

Anyway they covered the whole trial on the Gavel channel.  Myra's got
it on tape...I wonder why she's got it on tape? ... What?
Nah, I wouldn't worry about it Schank, but I would sleep with one eye
open if I were you.
  -- Schanke and Nick

She took my matches.
There's no smoking in here.  It's not healthy.
Neither is lethal injection!
  -- Laura and Woman cop

Do you trust me?  I want you to.  I'm reaching out to you...tonight. Do
you trust anyone?  Come and confide in me.  Confess all.  Unburden your
conscience.  Be rid of your sins.  Call me now...and entrust me with
your secret selves.  I have returned for your sake.  Tell me what
you won't tell your best friend, your lover, your children, or your
father.  Let me be your friend.  Share all of yourselves, because I'm
the Nightcrawler, and ... I. Love. You. All.
  -- LaCroix

It's not working. 
Okay, Plan B.
What's clogged it anyway?
A scrunchy.
A scrunchy?
A scrunchy.  One of those fancy hair elastics.  It fell down the
drain.  Don't ask.
I won't.  
  -- Nick and Natalie

So, what were you saying about the death penalty?  I'm not sure I
heard you right. 
I said I was against it.
A vampire against the death penalty.  Yeah, that's rich.
I'm coming around, aren't I?  And besides from a mortal's point of
view, what makes you so sure that death is a penalty?
Oh, no, no, no.  That is the kind of question that gets us into all
night debates.
  -- Natalie and Nick

How did we get onto Laura Garfield?
I don't know.  There's something about her. Somehow I feel she's a
person I can trust. 
You trusting someone.  Why?  Why her?
I can't put a finger on it.  It's just a feeling.
A very human feeling.
Trust?  What do I do?
Well, like all human feelings, it can get you into big trouble.
In other words?
Run with it.
  -- Natalie and NIck

I know it's a bit of a stretch.
Yeah, a stretch with a sun roof and a jacuzzi.
  -- Nick and Schanke

Captain, speaking of downtime, Myra and I would like to steal away up
to the lake.  The big mouth are biting.  Fresh air, R and R.  The
elemental forces of nature.
Spare me the scenic details, detective.  Fish with your partner.
Oh, come on Captain...I'm on it.
  -- Schanke and Cohen

You know Nick, you're killing all the romance in my life.  Myra was
really hot for that weekend.
Fishing turns her on?
Fishermen and outboard motors.  Myra responds heatedly to the call of
the wild, if you get my drift.  Fishing triggers the spawning instinct
in her.
  -- Schanke and Nick

Transport has a William Briss in Riverdale.  Are you thinking what
I'm thinking? 
Only if you're thinking about Myra in hipwaders.
No.
  -- Nick and Schanke

Nick, partner... we don't have a case here, technically speaking.
I mean, it's been decided. She bought the ticket, she takes the ride
I'm glad you're keeping an open mind, Schank.
Nick, she is a convicted murderess from Texas.  People get the chair
in Texas if they don't scoop up after their Chihuahua!  The last time
they overturned a capital sentence like this, Dinosaurs ruled the
earth and nobody scooped up after them!
  -- Schanke and Nick

Guess I'd better back the break the bad news to Myra.  There goes are
weekend. 
The fish'll keep a few days.
Who said anything about fishing?
  -- Schanke and Nick

I don't exactly have a lily-white past.
Who does?
  -- Nick and Laura

I saw it in her eyes.
Oh give me a break, she's yanking your chain, she's taken you for a
wuss!
  -- Nick and Schanke

Oh, be still my bleeding ventricles!
  -- Schanke

They hunt you like a ... creature.  Why?  
  -- Sister Marise

Don't touch anything.  We need a warrant.
Relax, probable cause.
How's that?
There's probably something wrong, because the front door is open!
Why do you always sweat the details?
  -- Nick and Schanke

Technically speaking, I'd say we've got a case...
  -- Nick

Well, I have to say this has Laura Garfield's delicate fingers all
over it.
  -- Cohen

Until time of death is established, we don't know if Laura was in
custody when Briss was killed or not. 
There's my cue!
  -- Nick and Natalie

However worthless you feel my friend, however bleak it all seems, in
the end you can come to me.  You'll always have something that I
value, part of you that I will always welcome.  Trust me.  Because I am
the Nightcrawler.  And I want all of you to love.  Me.
Why do you listen to that creep?
It's an acquired taste.
  -- LaCroix, Schanke and Nick

This is a novel arrangement, Nicholas.  A convent. All of the brides
of God.  So much to enjoy.  So little time....
  -- LaCroix

I have no taste for holiness in any of its forms.  It plays havoc with
my digestion... 
  -- LaCroix

Oh, Nicholas!  Don't you trust me?
  -- LaCroix

Hi, honey.  Yeah, yeah, the fishing trip is definitely off.  I'm
sorry!  No. She's not in right now.  I'll try to talk to her... Hello?
  -- Schanke

I hate to say this, Nick, but you're spinning your wheels.  Unless you
come in with something completely convincing...
Like a confession, Nick.
...I'd say it's all over for Laura Garfield.
  -- Cohen and Schanke

When I leave, the only thing I'll take with me, is the memory of your
kind heart.
  -- Nick

Why is it that you're helping me?
Because.  Because you need someone, someone to believe in you.
How do you know this?
I feel I can trust you.  Sometimes I see this in people.  There is a
goodness in you.  It seems like it is hidden.  Hidden for a long
time.  But it is there.
  --  Nick and Sister Marise

Bless me Father, for I have sinned, and I am WELL PLEASED!  
  -- LaCroix

Best reserve your trust for your *own kind*!
  -- LaCroix

Dispatch, put an APB out on 81-Kilo, now!
  -- Cohen

Drop it Laura, there's no reason for this.  Laura, drop it, or I'll
have to fire.
Stop her.  She's crazy!
I told you I'd find you and make you pay.
Shoot her, man!
Don't make me, Laura.
Shoot me, I don't care.  You didn't think I'd go to hell without you
and Billy, did ya?
  --  Nick, David Carruthers and Laura

You don't get it, Detective.  I'm already it dead.
  -- Laura

Thanks...for everything.  I couldn't have done it without you.
  -- Laura

Eight-hundred years!  Sometimes I wonder what the hell I've learned.
Nick, a leap of faith is just that.  You put your trust in someone, it
doesn't work out
And that's just the way it is?
Yes.
Not for me, LaCroix was right.  Better off trusting no one.
  -- Nick and Natalie

Nick, ease off it.  So, you made the wrong decision this time.
I almost got Schanke killed, Nat.
I know.  That's because you were pushing too hard.  You're instincts
on this one were almost too human.  You cannot make the transition
back to being human by forcing it.  You'll get there, just let it
happen. 
How long do I go on letting it happen, Nat?  And what guarantee do I
have that it will happen?
Ah...
I thought so.
  -- Natalie and Nick

Nick, please don't.
If you can't watch, turn away.
I'm doing all that I can do to help you.  Doing what you're doing...
...is a betrayal.  I know.  I know...
Thank you.  It can happen, Nick.  Trust me.
  -- Natalie and Nick

You'll always have something that I value.  Part of you that I will
always welcome.  Trust me.
  -- LaCroix