Feeding the Beast
 
Nasty, nasty habit.
I'm handling it.
That's what they all say.
Seriously.  I'm down to just one a day, a pack a month, tops.
And how many do you bum?
A few.
  -- Monica and Schanke, Feeding the Beast
 
Did he have any friends, enemies, any relationships?
Probably all three.
  -- Schanke and Monica, Feeding the Beast
 
Monica, if you don't mind my asking, what was your...
Addiction?  I do mind.
I was hoping she'd say married, balding men.
  -- Schanke and Monica, Feeding the Beast
 
Hey Nick, got any bad habits?
  -- Schanke, Feeding the Beast
 
Got any bad habits?  Maybe it'd do you some good.
  -- Stonetree, Feeding the Beast
 
Nat, what do you think of twelve step programs?
I think they can be very helpful for some mortal addictions.
How about the more exotic ones?
You know my theory about that, it's the blood that keeps you
from coming over.
I try Nat, I really do, I really try.  Do you think twelve
steps can make me give it up?
No one can answer that for you, Nick.  But it wouldn't hurt
to give it a shot.
  -- Nick and Natalie, Feeding the Beast
 
I couldn't see any way out of my addiction.  Essentially it's
like feeding the beast.  This big, greedy, beast that demands
being fed over and over again.
  -- Monica, Feeding the Beast
 
Where do I start?
First step is admitting to someone you love that you are 
powerless before your addiction.
That's not going to be easy.
No.  It's going to hurt like hell.
   -- Nick and Monica, Feeding the Beast
 
Schanke...um...what would you say if...what would you say if I told you 
I was an addict?
.... Yeah, right...and I'm the maharajah!
Hey, wait, wait, wait.  I'm serious.  I'm talking to you here, seriously. 
An addict?  Wait.  Wait, we're not talking about the red wine in the 
refrigerator are we?  Cuz...no.  Absolutely not!  You are perfectly all 
right, Nick.  You're perfectly fine.  Absolutely not!  Trust me!
(Schanke walks off, and Natalie joins Nick)
So much for step number 1....
Yeah?  What's step number 2?
  --Nick, Schanke, and Natalie, Feeding the Beast
 
Hi, my name's Nick and I'm an addict.  It's the hunger that drives 
me and it's not for booze, or crack, or junk.  It's for um.... I 
drink blood so that I can live forever.
What's so terrible about that? (LaCroix)
You have to fight it Nick.  You don't have to listen to him. (Monica)
She's right, Nicholas.  Listen to her.  Listen to your hunger. 
Listen to the beast in your veins calling to you... (LaCroix)
I can help you Nick.  I'm here for you. (Monica)
Who can help your hunger?  Who can help your craving for the 
warm, sweet, taste of blood? (LaCroix)
You can beat it Nick. (Monica)
Surrender!  Yield to your thirst. (LaCroix)
  -- Nick, LaCroix, and Monica, Feeding the Beast
 
Is it always this bad?
Sometimes it's worse.  Our worst victims are ourselves, 
you know.
Not with me.
It's like walking through a door for the first time.  
You  might fall thirteen stories onto the concrete, 
but you have  to trust that the pain means you're 
getting better....what is it?
I just feel thirteen stories, and it didn't hurt a bit!
  -- Nick and Monica, Feeding the Beast
 
I've never accepted help from anyone.
Of course, trust is earned, not given.  It takes 
time to  build.  You take as much time as you need, 
Nick.  I just  want you to know that I'm  here 
for you.  Okay?
  -- Nick and Monica, Feeding the Beast
 
Everywhere you go these days, you've got people telling you there's 
something wrong with you.  I mean you buy more  than a six-pack of 
beer and the guy behind the counter is giving you the fish eye.
...Or a pack of cigarettes...
Exactly!  Why should I feel guilty about buying a pack of cigarettes 
every now and then.  I mean, I don't smoke like  a chimney.  I gave  
it up!  But every once in a while you ought to be able to take a puff 
without everybody looking at me like I've got property of Betty Ford 
tatooed on my forehead.
But you don't have a problem....
See!  You're doing it.  No.  No, I definitely and emphatically do not 
have a problem...and neither does Nick!
  -- Schanke, Nick, and Natalie, Feeding the Beast
 
Hey, hey!  Wait a minute.  You look great!  Your 
cheeks,  they actually look rosy!
It must be the French fries.
You ate French fries?
With lots of ketchup.
That's incredible!
Wait a minute!  Am I missing something here?  I had 
three  falafels for lunch yesterday.  Did I get 
this kind of  reception?
  -- Natalie, Nick, and Schanke, Feeding the Beast
 
I guess I'm in recovery.
It certainly seems to agree with you.
Oh, Monica's been a great help... I don't know, 
but I  think this is it, Nat.  I'm not sure, 
I just uh...
Just do me a favor, okay?  Don't get your hopes 
up  too high.
Huh?  A little jealousy, perhaps?
No. No, just a little realism.
  -- Nick and Natalie, Feeding the Beast
 
Is there anyone here who has anything they'd like to 
share with us?
Hi.  My name's Nick, and I'm an addict.
Hi Nick.
Well, uh, it's been three days since I stopped abusing.  
I'm still alive.
  -- Hillary, Nick, and audience, Feeding the Beast
 
I have this sense about you that you're on the edge.  
A very sharp edge, like me.  I guess it makes me feel 
really close to you.
That's why we have to fight so hard.
  -- Monica and Nick, Feeding the Beast
 
Ah, the beast within.  It's a good description for 
it, isn't it?  The way it gnaws at you.  The way it 
chews your insides.
  -- Monica, Feeding the Beast
 
Go home.  Go Home, Monica!  Go Home.
Don't you get self righteous with me, you hear me!
I'm trying to recover, Monica.
C'mon, Nick.  Recovery is just the spaces between fixes.  
It's not like the doing something about the need once in 
a while is gonna make it any stronger.  God knows, it 
can't get any stronger. 
Monica!  Don't do this to me.  Don't do this to yourself.
How am I supposed to get the strength to recover if I 
don't get any relief?
  -- Nick and Monica, Feeding the Beast
 
It never goes away, Nick!  Our beasts are on our backs 
forever.  There's no magic bullet.  There's no cure and 
you better learn how to carry your beast on your back.
  -- Monica, Feeding the Beast
 
And by the way, what I said earlier about the addiction 
stuff...stricken from the record, pal.  I apologize.  
You're  my partner and I'll take you any way I can 
get you.
Good!
  -- Schanke and Nick, Feeding the Beast
 
There's no way out is there?  No answers.  No great 
shining light around the corner.  Might as well embrace 
it, sit back and enjoy the ride.  I'm revamping myself, 
Janette.  From now on, I say I'm a vampire and I'm 
proud of it.  To hell with the mortal world.  
And what brought about this sudden change of heart?
Their weakness, their false hopes, their lies.
Their humanity?
What strength is there in mortality?  None.  What 
advantage?  The ability to die.  Well.  Sign me up 
for that straight away.  Oh yeah!, I'll be 
first in line.
Maybe you've had enough.
I'm hungry.  I feed.
Your eyes... I can't have a scene, Nicolah.  Dance a 
little.  Work it off a little.
Yes....
  -- Nick and Janette, Feeding the Beast
 
What is this place?
It's a private club for VIP's and denizens of the 
night.  I think you belong.
I'm not sure.
Maybe it's just your makeup.
How does it make me look?
Like Death!
Is that sexy?
Oh, it's more than that.
It is to me.
Death? Sexy?
It's incredibly sexy to me.
Then maybe you should die a little...
NICOLAH!!!!
  -- Nick's Victim, Nick, and Janette, Feeding the Beast
 
He needs to be alone.  Both of you go, please!  Look, 
he's dangerous.  He's had too much to drink.
No.  I'm going in there.
It's your neck...
  -- Janette and Natalie, Feeding the Beast
 
What the hell is going on with Nick?
  -- Schanke, Feeding the Beast
 
Come to ogle the beast?
I came to help.
You all come to help, don't you?
Take my hand.
BACK OFF, NAT!
...What happened tonight?
I was riding on this wagon and someone pushed me off...
Monica.
Aren't you the one who said, be realistic, Nick?  Well, 
I've had a good, hard look at the mortal soul.  What 
secrets are you hiding, Natalie?  What kind of betrayal?
Come on, Nick...
Are you writing some sort of medical paper on me Nat?  
Or maybe you're just seeking some dark sexual thrill?  
What is it Natalie?
All right!  That is enough!
Because there's no hope is there?  No cure.  From 
Monica,  from you.  It's all a bluff.
Or what?  Did somebody tell you there's an easy cure, 
Nick?   'Cause they were lying.  You have to find the 
answer  within yourself and  just because Monica 
failed you,  doesn't give you an excuse to stop...
SHE BETRAYED MY TRUST, MY HOPE...
  -- Nick and Natalie, Feeding the Beast
 
She's a killer like myself.  An unredeemable, 
uncontrollable beast. Now that's the way it is.  
That is my reality.
  -- Nick, Feeding the Beast
 
This is perfect, Nat.  This makes perfect sense, Nat.  
Monica says that recovery is just the space between 
fixes.  (Nick vamps out) I think I'll show
her what backsliding really is...
  -- Nick, Feeding the Beast
 
Well, we're supposed to acknowledge and apologize 
for any pain that we might've cause.
Hey, that's okay.  No one said that this was 
going to  be easy.
  -- Nick and Natalie, Feeding the Beast
 
Hey, will you two let me in on what's going on 
here,  and how the hell did you get here from 
the Raven so fast without a car?
Schanke, I truly apologize for my behavior tonight 
and any pain I might have caused you.
You're not going to give me an answer, are you?
  -- Schanke and Nick, Feeding the Beast
 
Any way we can set up an interrogation with 
Monica tonight?
She's down at the station.  Why not?
Why not?  Because it's bad for you, that's why not.
  -- Nick and Schanke (as Nick takes Schanke's 
     cigarette away), Feeding the Beast
 
Hi, my name's Nick, and I have a confession to make.  
I've been lying to you over the last couple of weeks.  
While I freely admit that I am an addict, I was also 
here because I'm a cop.
  -- Nick, Feeding the Beast
 
I'm sharing!
  -- Hilary (after shooting at Nick), Feeding the Beast
 
You can not take advantage.  It's a rule.  They 
deserved  to die.  You can't take advantage of 
someone who's  addicted!
  -- Hilary, Feeding the Beast
 
Ciggy, Schank?
You gotta be kidding!
  -- Police Officer and Schanke, Feeding the Beast
 
Oh, you think I know nothing about art?
No, it's just that you have a velvet painting of 
Elvis  in your locker.
Very funny!
  -- Schanke and Nick, Feeding the Beast